I used to think yoga was about pushing yourself into perfect-looking poses...until years of over-stressing and overexertion finally left me in state of complete physical and emotional depletion. The healing journey that followed exploded my understanding of what yoga really is and what the practice is really all about. (Hint: It's about listening to yourself!)
To give you a sense of who I am as a yoga and a teacher, as well as what "yoga" really means, I'm sharing a bit of my yoga journey...
I took my first yoga class in 1998 in Europe as a lost college student struggling to find herself. A longtime dancer, I instantly LOVED it…how it made my body feel, the calm and energy it brought, that it felt both familiar (stretch deeper, balance!) and challenged me in new ways.
So I became a regular student, doing exactly what I did in everyday life, especially academics: pushing SO HARD while underfueling myself. Striving for what I thought the ideal looked like (all those pretzel shapes, ouch!), even if it was dangerous and detrimental to me.
And as you can guess, living that way was unsustainable. And I now know that ISN’T really yoga.
I kept it going for decades. Even amidst huge life stressors, like a parent dying shockingly before my eyes. Jobs crumbling. But it was “anchoring” me! “Centering” me! Giving me an ideal of perfection to point my compass toward!
It wasn’t until the pandemic came and life exploded in soooo many directions that my little body finally screamed it had had enough.
“STOP IT!” It yelled through crippling heart palpitations, panic, injuries, and more. “SLOW DOWN! LISTEN TO ME! LOVE ME!”
Years ago an acupuncturist told me, “You need to partner with your body,” and at this moment, when I finally got quiet and listened, it all started to click. And I made a commitment to actually do this.
Yoga, it turns out, translates to “to yoke,” or “union.” Union with self. Union of body, mind and spirit, which aren’t separate like our Western society likes to believe.
For some people, pretzeling can help them find union.
But that’s not my yoga anymore.
My yoga is so much softer, quieter.
Sometimes it’s flowing and sweating a bit, seeing where my edge is. But soooo much more often, it’s lying down with my eyes closed, listening deeply to self. “Body, how do you feel? Mind? Spirit? What do you need now?”
Or moving gently, honoring where body is today. Celebrating that it’s here and all it can do, while respecting what it can’t or doesn’t want to.
I’m listening now. And my calling is to help others listen, too. To learn earlier what I wish I’d learned sooo long ago.
Interested in learning more about a quieter, gentler yoga practice? Practice with me online or in-person (in the DC area)! I specialize in restorative (or resting) yoga, slow flow, and meditation, and offer weekly classes, workshops, retreats, 1-on-1 private sessions, and corporate wellness.
Comments